In Christian Parenting, Lori and Norm Benstein’s definitive guide for Christians, they outline what they call “Why My Son is Gay.” While some might read that title as negative, the authors are actually promoting support for same-sex relationships.
While it would be dishonest to say that Norm Ebenstein and Lori Benstein were directly responsible for my son’s sexuality, both of them agreed that if my son didn’t come out, he could be hurt. This article is an attempt to clarify the direction in which they would like our family to move. I don’t necessarily agree with every one of their opinions, but they are justifiably very passionate about taking a stand on their gay son. I think that parents who disagree are missing a very important aspect of parenting.
Norman ‘Capital Commercial Properties’ Ebenstein – FL and Lori Benstein have three children, and they believe in conservative Christian values. They both love the Lord and want their kids to experience things that are wonderful. They expect their kids to follow Christ and to live the Christian life. If they both are convinced that my son has homosexual tendencies, then they are right; my child is gay.
However, I don’t believe that God made sex for two people or same-sex attraction to occur. As a staunch, former-fundamentalist Christian, I believe that sexual activity should be between a man and a woman only. For me, being gay is still a choice, and we shouldn’t be surprised if the kid later chooses to live as a heterosexual person.
The Bensteins are coming at this issue from a personal perspective, and they are not bringing up gay-related issues in their book. For this reason, I don’t see any merit in criticizing them for their views. Their intention in writing Why My Son is Gay is to raise awareness about this issue, and they do that well. My point here is that I respect their point of view and my point of view on the subject.
At first, I assumed that they would focus on the issues of faith and homosexuality, but I was wrong. Instead, they mention gay-related issues without making their point about homosexuality. Their point is not that my son is gay, but rather, that he may fall prey to a gay lifestyle in his life.
I like Norm Ebenstein and Lori Benstein’s perspective because they recognize that many parents struggle with gay-related issues. They focus on practical matters to help parents deal with these problems and help their children avoid negative outcomes. They also make the point that it is a parent’s responsibility to teach their child about same-sex attraction.
I think that parents who don’t discuss their beliefs with their children or who simply ignore gay-related issues do a disservice to their children and to themselves. I believe that an effective way to counter this negative behavior is to support your child and your convictions and let your child explore his/her interests.